The Importance of A-players in Your Life.
Did you know that social support is one of man's basic needs? In the world of Alice in Wonderland, the Rabbit said, "The secret, Alice, is to surround yourself with people who make your heart smile. It's then, only then, that you will find Wonderland." Although we may know these words from our childhood, it is only now that I realize their profound meaning.
The power of social support
It is incredibly important to surround yourself with people who make your heart shine.
During our trip that began in December 2019 and was originally planned for 5 months (but ended up lasting 8 months due to Corona), this realization came to me naturally. During our trip, we found peace and space, and the importance of social support became clearer than ever before.
When the pandemic escalated worldwide in March 2020, we faced a difficult choice: stay where we were or return home. We were very far from home. Both options carried risks, and making these decisions was complicated by the uncertainty of the situation. It was during this period that we relied completely on our social support group. We had countless conversations, listened to different perspectives and found ourselves making decisions together.
By feeling surrounded by a social network of friends and family, we realized the power of social support. These people were always there for us, regardless of the physical distance between us. They helped us cope with uncertainty and gave us the courage to make our own choices. Their presence gave us confidence and strengthened our resilience.
The Need for Social Support
Did you know that social support is one of the basic human needs? As group animals, we have the need to be part of a group and experience real social support. Social support is an essential component of resilience. The desire to belong somewhere is also known as the "need to belong" theory. From an evolutionary perspective, being alone used to be life-threatening. Therefore, having people around us that we can turn to is incredibly important.
Research shows that loneliness has a greater negative impact on life expectancy than obesity, alcohol consumption or smoking. Thus, loneliness has a significant impact on both our mental and physical health. People with a strong social safety net have been shown to have stronger immune systems. Adequate support from people around us thus increases our resilience.
From which people do you get social support?
During Team Heartbeats' trainings and individual coaching sessions, developing resilience is key. It all starts with awareness. Take some time to look at the five people you interact with the most. Do they reflect who you want to be?
We use the A-B-C-D scheme for this purpose:
A = A-players: these people give energy AND add value to your life. They are truly meaningful!
B = Beer drinkers: they provide energy but add no value to your life.
C = Colleagues or "useful" people: they add value to your life but do not energize it.
D = Dumping: these people add no value and give you no energy. But also ask yourself, are you yourself ever a D-player in another person's life?
In the trainings, we further explain the four categories into which you can divide your social circle. Of course, we are not saying that you should immediately dump someone who does not give you energy. What matters is that you look at your social environment and become aware of the effect these people have on you. From this awareness, you can start making new choices, for example by paying more attention to your A-players and less to the D-players, so that they can influence you less negatively.
Surround yourself with A-players!
Perhaps now you are thinking of someone you want to give more space in your life because this person adds value and gives energy. Take action. It's worth it!
Having people around us who support us in both good times and bad contributes to our resilience.
Accordingly, the World Health Organization (WHO) has included social health in its definition of health: "A state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.
During our trip I was with my own A-Players, but I also met new A-Players: they were inspiring, motivating and genuinely interested. It was refreshing to experience their positive energy and feel how they made my heart smile. These meetings made me realize the effect people have on us and how important it is to surround ourselves with the right people.
Distance yourself from negative influences
Unfortunately, we also encounter people who drain our energy and negatively affect us. Sometimes it is difficult to distance ourselves from them, especially if they are family members or colleagues. In such situations, however, it is essential to recognize the impact these encounters have on us. We must learn to recharge and protect ourselves before facing these negative influences. This may mean consciously seeking contact with an A-player after an encounter, someone who can help us find our positive energy again.
Let us strive for an environment where we are surrounded by people who make our hearts smile, because ultimately the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives and a better functioning immune system, making you healthier, fitter and more resilient.
Want to know how to develop more resilience? Feel welcome to contact me, or anyone else on Team Heartbeats! We'd love to meet with you.
